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Ooutdoor runners have their euphoria. In any other environment, exercise unleashes a host of more complex emotions, many of them very strong. Being new to class or the gym means being in an extremely vulnerable state: a mean look can send you home, a clique of friends can make you feel like an outsider. When you know what you’re doing, it fills you with a powerful sense of self-satisfaction, but when you have an environment where half the people are nervous about uncertainty and the other half are too sure, there’s a lot that can go wrong. No one can change that, but etiquette helps. Here are the experts’ rules for fitness etiquette.
In the gym
If you don’t know how to use it, ask someone
Anna Jenkins, 51, is the founder of We Are Fit Attitude, with decades of personal training experience. She asked her clients and trainers for some tips on gym etiquette. One woman said: “I was too proud to ask questions about how to use certain equipment, so I just avoided it. In fact, I probably should have just asked the bodybuilders, as I’m sure they would have been happy to show me.” You get shy around the equipment and then you resent people throwing it and then you go home. This is not a fitness trip.
Don’t grab the machines
If you’re doing it right, you’ll be resting between sets anyway. “Instead of just sitting there scrolling through your phone,” Jenkins says, “why don’t you get up and help Janet set up so she can do her set? People think that because they are sitting there, that is their place now. But most gyms aren’t big enough for that.”
Don’t correct other people’s form
Even if you think someone is doing something so bad that they’re going to hurt themselves, it’s much more polite to discreetly inform a member of staff so they can deal with it. It sounds like a small thing, but it’s part of a newbie’s paranoia to think that everyone is watching them, so it would be bad for them to see you doing just that.
Be aware of the noise
“You’d only have four guys around the weights talking and it would be embarrassing,” says Jenkins. “People will run off to other parts of the gym, and that’s not fair.” It’s a mixed-use environment—at the bar, everyone will be chatting, and on the train, everyone will be quiet. That doesn’t mean you can’t talk, but you have to keep in mind that people can’t help but eavesdrop. Some of them will enjoy it, but many people would hate to hear a personal or boring conversation. So if you’re going to talk, keep it quiet, intermittent, and interesting.
It’s okay to sweat, but bring a towel
Some people start sweating, mistakenly thinking it means they’re losing weight. Sweating will reduce your weight in the short term, but you’re only excreting water. Some equate sweating with achievement, which is fine. In the gym, you have to sweat – but if you put it on the equipment and don’t wipe it off, the people around you will be disgusted.
If you’re listening to music, be careful
“If someone comes to you to ask you something, you have to listen to them,” says Jenkins. “They might ask you if you’re going to spot them or share the bench with them. Gyms should not be seen as a private space, but as a shared space. We are human, we have to support each other.”
Beware of the appearance of authority
It’s hard because when you’re there all the time, you’re living your best life. All the staff know your name and you can feel like you own the place. But keep the voice of one of Jenkins’ newbies in your head: “I don’t have a problem with bodybuilder types, but sometimes there can just be a lack of self-awareness that everyone is equal in the gym. Everyone pays their membership and has an equal right to be there and use the equipment.”
Don’t take selfies
Another Jenkins customer said they found it a little sad that gyms had become places to “be seen” and take selfies. This came up a lot – gym goers acting like it’s a fashion show, sulking, making people in old yoga pants feel bad. Obviously, wear what you like, but don’t pretend.
You are still allowed to wear makeup. “There’s a certain element of feeling quite vulnerable and needing your war paint,” says Jenkins.
For God’s sake, don’t take a picture
At the extreme end is the woman, filmed writhing imposingly along the handles of a machine, in a funny and brilliant video which was intended for her OnlyFans account. It’s not uncommon for people to take pictures of themselves to post on social media, but it’s more or less impossible to keep other people in the background, which means you’re invading their privacy.
Don’t go to the gym while you’re sick
It shouldn’t be said, but it is. So many people think they’re showing character by fighting a cold, but all they’re doing is delaying their own recovery by sneezing on equipment—like sweating, only 10 times worse—and making everyone else worry .
In the pool
Take a shower before swimming
“The water reacts to some deodorants and sunscreens and you get a horrible Lynx-like smell over the water,” says Becky Horsbrough, 55, journalist and swimming coach. You’d have to be a stunningly dirty person to disturb that much water, but chemicals do the trick.
Take stock before entering
Swimmers are fun: almost every encounter they have is to be overtaken. Horsbrugh says: “Most swimming pools will have a slow, medium and fast lane which vary depending on the day. Take a quick look at what the speeds are and which is the fastest. Choose your tape carefully. Don’t always always enter the same lane.
Don’t bother entering
It’s natural to scream a little when you’re swimming outdoors, in fact the etiquette when it’s cold is that if do not scream, you show yourself. But swimming pools aren’t such a shock, so you’ll look like a drama queen.
What to do if someone in front is slower than you
“It’s normal to tap their feet,” says Horsbrough. “Obviously you’re not catching them or hurting them, just letting them know you’re on their tail.”
What to do if someone behind is faster than you
Stop for two seconds at the end and let them walk in front of you. Some pools have wide enough overtaking lanes, but many do not.
There is a swimming version of mamil (middle aged man in lycra) and people don’t like him very much
“There’s a tendency for your middle-aged man with all the gear to dislike women who are ahead of him,” says Horsbrough. “You’re going to be faster, so you’re going to start overtaking and they’re going to start speeding up. You wouldn’t do that in your car. If someone is clearly faster than you, just let them go in front, otherwise you’ll end up with two of you back to back.
If you want to talk to your friend, worry more about “where” than “how loud”
“People have swimming caps and earplugs on, they use their eyes a lot more than their ears,” says Horsburgh. “But if you want to chat, don’t do it to get in the way of other swimmers. Just be aware of what’s going on around you.”
In class
Don’t chat with your friend
Thea King, 28, is a Pilates and aerial yoga teacher. She says, “Teachers are constantly thinking. You have to be clear, break it down to someone who doesn’t quite get it, and if you have that constant buzzing in your ear, it’s so hard to keep your thoughts going.”
Don’t be too concerned with personal space
This is a particular problem with classes that are expensive to run: hot yoga, bench and pilates, aerial silks. People are too tight and some people’s legs are longer than others and you might get a finger in your eye. You just have to wear it. Nobody did it on purpose. Especially in hot yoga – where, since energy prices have soared, sometimes there isn’t even an inch between the mats. You’ll be swinging or sweaty. If you don’t like it, do something else.
In the air – where you have a hammock made of silk hanging from the ceiling and you work upside down, trapeze-style – King “almost encourages people to bump into each other as it creates connections.”
This is not a competition
“If there’s a pace that everyone’s following, and someone’s like a Duracell bunny in the corner, it can annoy the people next to them,” says King. “With group exercise classes, there tends to be more of a sense of community. It’s not like the gym where you can put on your blinkers. You are part of the room whether you realize it or not. So try not to get on people’s nerves.
Someone has to answer the teacher
There will always be an element of call and response to the class, “How do you find it?”, “Did everyone agree with that?” – and usually everyone thinks someone else is going to answer, but no one does. It’s as if the teacher is shouting into a void. King says that’s good. “I don’t know what’s going on in everybody’s life, they could have kids ringing in their ears all day. I wouldn’t take it personally.” However, I think it’s rude. Take one for the team.
If you know you’re clumsy, stay back
It sounds a little harsh, but not everyone can get a perfect visual view of the instructor, so they rely on the people in the front row to know what they’re doing. If it’s you and you don’t, you’ll feel the judgment of the people behind you. This will make you awkward until you have to go out, except you’re too shy to even do it.
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